Chronically Fabulous !!!!!!!

Def:  CHRONIC : continuing for a long time; constantly recurring

Def:  FABULOUS:  extremely good, almost unbelievable, astounding

I've been going through a lot lately, with other sickies in my family and some road blocks with my own treatment, so naturally I have been in my head, thinking, thinking and over analyzing, as I do .... and having just been to see Mr. T, my social worker, I emptied my brain on him.  This always helps and gives me some clarity after.

I started to wax philosophical in my head about how much I have been through in the last 2 years (almost) since my diagnosis.  I was also thinking about all the others in this online RA and Chronic Illness community that have been going through this for longer than I have.  WE ARE SERIOUSLY FABULOUS!!!!!  When you look at what we deal with medically/physiologically and emotionally, and then look at what we get done .... we are really AMAZING!!!!

As much as there is a spectrum of our dis-ease, there is such a huge spectrum of our abilities, this spectrum always changes for us and what we can accomplish on any given day.  I have also realized that there is no way that anyone who does not have a chronic illness will EVER, NEVER, EVER "get it".  That alone has been liberating for me.  I think I am finally "Embracing What Is" (shout out to Lisa Maxx!), or am beginning to.

We get things accomplished, even if it doesn't feel like it and some days, we do more than we think we can and don't even look back to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back.  When I was diagnosed, "pacing" was and still is the most challenging thing to adapt to.  I plan my pacing .... lol ... yes I have control issues .... I plan for the worst case scenario for what needs to be done ... something that used to take me a couple of hours can take days now.  Sometimes I can surprise myself and I get ... "just one more thing" done than I planned, I know that I may have to take something for the pain after, but I desperately need to feel that I can still accomplish things.  For example, I have company coming for the weekend and I've been working 2 jobs, my apartment needed vacuuming (I usually split this task up over two or more days), I stopped at the library after work to get videos for the child that will be here and was pretty much done at that point, but this was the only time to do the majority of the vacuuming, and I knew I had to have some dinner, which I was going to do after vacuuming.  I remembered how my back usually hurts after vacuuming and realized that if I vacuumed first, I wouldn't be able to prep something to eat!!! So .... change in schedule, eat first, vacuum at nine o'clock at night ..... then meds, then bed .... and I actually squeezed in the daunting task of taking some summer items down to my storage locker to make room for my company .... that is the thing I patted myself on the back for ....

Some of us are out in the community and the world advocating, some of us are are online supporting others on the Interweb, some of us work, some don't or can't, some of us have mobility issues, some of us are running marathons - crazy but fabulous! - ... but I definitely think we are very hard on ourselves, it's easier to be, we have all sorts of disappointments and expectations coming at us ... It would be great to remember that we can all be our own hero!

The Imaginary Friend